in my head

How will I live this summer?
How will I work next school year?
Will I finish this school year well?
Will I make my monthly loan payments?
Will I make rent?

God is teaching me faithfulness. He's got me.

There's an old Caedmon's Call song that talks all about being blessed. And how you're not blessed when you have lots of stuff and security. And how we're confused what being blessed is. "But I get turned around. And I mistake my happiness for blessing. And I'm blessed as the poor, still I judge success by how I'm dressing". Ah Derek Webb, you're so smart.

There are days when I feel poor. Even though I'm totally not (I mean I get to eat whenever I want. I'll try to have some perspective). There are days I think "man, if I just had a husband I wouldn't worry about money". mm hm, ya no i really think that. and I'm NOT a worrier, but throw my livelihood up in the air and throw in some major college loans and a new career that both terrifies me and brings me so much joy... and i'm worrying a little. Total waste of time, but I can't. help. myself.